I suffered from my first anxiety attack in October of 2015. From there... I felt the value of life dimensioning right in front of me. For the first time in my life I wasn't looking forward to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and family get-togethers. In fact, I was dreading it. I didn't want to go to a company Christmas party because that meant talking to people, and I didn't have the energy to do that. All of my energy was being consumed by my anxiety.
Life seemed dull. I hated it. I had actually gotten to the point of wanted to go to a mental institute, therapy, or any sort of medication that would numb anything. I was upset with myself because my life was getting better... or so I thought, but what was happening I was going back to who I was, and that scared the living crap out of me.
I always have, and will refer to 2015 has the worst year in my life. It is when I hit the lowest point in my life, twice. My depression and anxiety was the worst it had ever been. I just didn't want to deal with people or life. I just wanted the world to stop. It wasn't until the best year of my life 2016.
I refer to 2016 as the best year because that was when my life changed around. I heard God louder than I ever had. My life finally was getting better. I was still worrying. I was getting better at it for awhile. I still would have my anxiety attacks, but nothing compared to before. I wasn't afraid to tell my story, and I didn't do it for attention. I wanted to share it to help others.
It wasn't until recently that it finally clicked, not to worry about life and most importantly for me, relationships. I learning day by day to trust God, and trust others. I learned that God always gives us the answers we need, not the answers we want. That in times we are unsure it is important to trust Him, and His timing. That no matter what He knows what is important, and that it is ok to just let go sometimes.
Have a great day, and don't forget to SMILE!